


Rivals and Jeers

by thesquirrelqueer



Category: Phandom
Genre: AU, Bullying, DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Depression, High School AU, Homophobia, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction, Slurs, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, idk how tags work, phanfic, suicide warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-22 22:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 24
Words: 7,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12492552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesquirrelqueer/pseuds/thesquirrelqueer
Summary: Dan is a cheerleader and Phil is a football player at rival schools. They meet and fall in love, but are ripped apart by their schools' intense rivalry.





	1. Chapter 1

"G-O B-E-A-R-S! You can't beat us, cause we're the best! G-O B-E-A-R-S! You can't beat us, cause we're the best!" Dan shouted along with the other cheerleaders. They were down 14-20 with 10 seconds left in the 4th quarter. Westbrooke had the ball and was running it down the field.

"Westbrooke, Westbrooke, down the field! You can't stop and you won't yield!" Dan screamed with a series of choreographed dance moves along with the other cheerleaders.

As Westbrooke neared the end zone, a player from Northglenn tackled the runner. There was booing and cursing from the Westbrooke side of the stadium.

"And McDonnell is down, tackled by number 9, Lester from Northglenn!" The announcer said over the loudspeaker. The buzzer sounded. "That's it. Northglenn wins, 20-14"

People started packing up to leave the stadium. The Northglenn side was overjoyed and shouting chants of pride for their team. The Westbrooke side was dejected and cursing the ref for bullshit calls and favoring the other team.

Dan went to grab his bag and water bottle from the bench. Louise met him at the bench and grabbed her own bag. She adjusted the red bow in her hair and pulled a towel from her bag.

"What a game, huh?" She said as she wiped the sweat off of her face with the towel. "It's a shame we lost, especially against Northglenn."  
Dan took a swig from his water bottle. His hair had become increasingly curlier throughout the game as he sweated. Louise handed him a towel and he wiped his face as well.

"Yeah, but at least I can still do this." He put the water down and assumed a starting stance. Then he did 3 backflips across the field. On the last one, he collided with another person. They fell to the ground in a heap.

"Hey! Watch where you're going" a deep voice said. Dan looked at the face of the person whom he had collided with. And into the eyes of an angel. His heart did a backflip too.


	2. Chapter 2

He had jet black hair and eyes that were bluer than blue. His high cheekbones made him even more beautiful. He had on a white and blue football jersey, the colors of Northglenn.

Dan scrambled to his feet, blushing profusely. He held out his hand to the other boy and helped him up. After he was on his feet, the two held the other's hand for a few moments. Realizing they were still holding hands, Dan blushed even more and dropped the other boy's hand.

"The name's Phil by the way." The other boy said. He smiled at Dan. "Sorry I was a bit rude when I first spoke to you, but you were the one who crashed into me." He laughed and Dan relaxed a little.

"Yeah, sorry about that." He shyly looked at the ground.

"It's fine. I'm fine. See?" He knocked his hand against his chest. "Padding. Able to withstand any force." He suddenly put his hand on Dan's shoulder and looked him in the eye. Dan felt an electric spark course through him. "But are you okay, dude?" Dan's face was redder than a tomato.

"I-I-I'm fine." He stuttered. Phil's hand was still on his shoulder. Phil playfully pushed Dan away. He rubbed his shoulder and started to walk back to the parking lot. He still felt that electricity as he walked to his car. He still felt it as he got out his keys to unlock it.

"Hey, flipping boy!" A voice shouted over the din of the parking lot. Dan turned around to see Phil running towards him. When he came closer, he saw a small piece of paper clutched in his hand.

"I never got your name, flipping boy." He said.

"My name is Dan." He replied. His heart was pounding in his ears and his face was beginning to redden for the umpteenth time in the past five minutes.

"Well 'Dan' it was nice to meet you." He put out his hand for Dan to shake. He took it and as he did, Phil placed the paper in his palm.

Phil pulled away and smirked. "What's this?" Dan asked, holding up the paper.

"My number. Call me sometime, will ya?" Phil winked and walked away. And Dan was left alone in the parking lot, staring at the paper and redder than a fire truck.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day was the same as most. Dan went to school. He had his normal classes of history, science, and English. Then came lunch. His least favorite part of the day. As he walked to his locker to grab his lunch bag, he prepared himself for the everyday routine.

"Hey fag" Charlie said as he grabbed Dan by the hair and shoved him against the locker. Dan felt a sharp pain in the back of his head. "What's it like being a fucking fairy? Is it nice in fucking fairyland you queer?" He pressed him harder against the locker. Dan could feel the cold metal pressing into his back. But he didn't respond to Charlie's comments.

"Hey!" Charlie slapped him hard across the face. "You answer me when I speak to you, kay fag?" Dan stayed silent. "Fine. Have it your way." He forcefully banged Dan's head into the locker and punched him in the face. His nose began to bleed and he slid down the locker, defeated. Charlie left him on the floor of the empty hallway.

Dan could feel blood run down his face and felt a throbbing in the back of his head. His vision was blurred, he was fighting back tears. He took his phone from his pocket and texted the number Phil had given him. Two words: Help me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely hate using the word f*g


	4. Chapter 4

Dan skipped the rest of his classes for the day. Instead, he went to the football field and sat on the bleachers. He sat in silence, alone. He liked it that way. No one was there to bother him. No one was there to hurt him or call him names.

He became bored after some time, and took out his phone to play a game. There was a message from Phil on his lock screen. Where?

Dan quickly typed a response and waited. A second after it sent, three bubbles showed up to tell that Phil was texting him back. I'll be right there.

Dan waited again. He stared out at the open field, lost in thought. He thought about why he was playing hooky this time if all the other times he'd been bullied he'd just taken it and walked to class. And it had something to do with Phil Lester.

Phil Lester. The boy he'd met only once and knew nothing about. The boy who was open with flirting with other boys. The boy who went to the rival school.


	5. Chapter 5

After an eternity of staring at the field ahead of him, Dan heard rushed footsteps coming towards the bleachers. His heart skipped a beat. He turned to see Phil running towards him, backpack flying up and down on his back and a concerned expression on his face.

When he got to the bleachers, he gasped. He could see the dried blood on Dan's face. His backpack tumbled to the ground. He practically tripped over his own feet running up the stairs to meet him. He clasped Dan's face in his hands.

"Who did this?" He panted. Dan could see anger growing behind Phil's bright blue eyes. "I'll kill them." He said in a low, serious voice. He was mad. Very mad. The only type of mad someone can be when they're in love.

Dan stared up at Phil, pent up tears welling up in his eyes. And he broke down. He sobbed onto Phil shoulder and confided in him every thing that had happened with Charlie and had happened. He had never told anyone this, not even his parents.

When he was finished, Phil pulled him close and wiped the tears from his face. Their foreheads touched.

"I'll take care of you Dan, mark my words."


	6. Chapter 6

The next day was the same routine with Charlie. He ate lunch in the bathroom. He checked for bruising in the mirror and took a make up bag out of his backpack. He covered the bruises with his mother's foundation so no one would know. He stared at himself in the mirror for a while, psyching himself up to go back to the war zone. His phone buzzed.

You free after school today? Phil's message read. He typed a reply and hurried to class. People were already in their seats talking by the time he walked in. He took a seat in the far back and took out his phone. As the teacher gave a boring lecture on something to do with European history, he hid his phone under the desk and texted back and forth with Phil.

Dan: I'm not doing anything. Why?

Phil: I was wondering if you wanted to go out to dinner or something.

Dan: Sure. What time?

Phil:I'll pick you up around 5:00pm.

Dan smiled at his phone under the desk then put it away. He looked back up at the teacher, not hearing a single word she said. His mind wandered and he thought of what he and Phil would or could do later that night.


	7. Chapter 7

Dan fidgeted with the sleeves of his jacket as he waited for Phil to pull up to the house. The cool November air tinted his cheeks. His feet started to get cold. He jogged in place to keep them warm.

Phil pulled up in his car and rolled down the window. "Get in loser, we're going shopping." He joked. The passenger side was swung open and Dan hopped into the car. The interior was filled with stacks upon stacks of CDs and records.

"A music lover, are you?" Chuckled Dan, picking up a discarded disc from the floor. Phil laughed.

"Nah, it's my brother's car. His name's Martyn. He's really into producing music, so he makes songs with his friends and stuff then uses stuff like this for reference or whatever." Phil put his foot on the gas and they were on their way. Dan inserted the CD he had found into the car's player. The sound of Erasure filled the car.

"Hey I love this song!" They said in unison. They looked at each other and laughed.

"When it's cold outside! Am I here in vain?!" They sang together, completely off key, but not caring at all. When the song had finished, Dan turned to Phil.

"Where are we going anyway?" He asked.

"There's a diner that has really good milkshakes. It's a cute place. Very retro and 50s." Phil turned the steering wheel and pulled into the parking lot. They got out of the car and started to walk into the restaurant. Phil grabbed Dan's hand. Dan froze and his face flushed red. For a moment, Phil was going to pull away, but Dan interlocked his fingers with his and Phil reassured him with a squeeze.


	8. Chapter 8

Ding! Went the bell on the door as they walked in. A woman wearing cat's eye glasses greeted them warmly.

"Why hello, sugars. Table for how many?" She shouted, smiling widely and showing a spot on her teeth where her bright red lipstick had smudged. Dan took a small step back, slightly taken aback by how much energy the woman had.

"Um, just one for the two of us." Answered Phil.

The hostess practically flew on her skates to set up a table for them, exclaiming "sure thing sweet pea". Like magic, 5 seconds later, their table was ready.

"After you." Phil put his hand out for Dan to walk to the table. Dan walked to the table and plopped down on the booth's cushion. Phil slid in opposite him.

"I'll be back with drinks in a moment sweeties." The woman skated away. Dan picked up a menu and studied it. Phil sat leaning on his elbows, just staring at Dan, studying his face. 

"I think I'm gonna get a burger or something" Dan proclaimed, his eyes fixated on his menu. Phil kept his eyes on Dan, as if he were trying to count the freckles on his face.

Phil sighed which made Dan finally look up. He saw Phil staring at him and his face turned a slightly darker color.

"Stop staring at me!" He giggled, hiding his face with his hands.

"I'm sorry" chuckled Phil. "It's just that... I've never seen someone so beautiful." Dan looked down shyly and crossing his arms over his chest. "Hey." Phil reached his arm across the table to lift Dan's chin. He leaned closer to Dan and whispered " I think you're wonderful Dan."

Dan stared up at Phil, his mouth agape, his breath fast and heart pounding. Just the feel of Phil's fingers on his face sent bolts of electricity through his entire body. They hadn't even had a full first date and Dan was already head-over-heels in love.


	9. Chapter 9

Ding! The door of the diner swung open once more and in walked a group of boys in white and blue uniforms. They were loud and brute, disrupting the nice and quiet atmosphere of the diner. As soon a Phil saw them, he quickly grabbed a menu and balance it on the table to hide their faces. He fell silent and stared at the table. Dan followed suit. He knew that something was not right if Phil had acted the way he did. The gang of boys walked past them, cackling and making obnoxious noises as they passed. When they were gone, Phil sighed a sigh of relief, but still kept the menu on the table.

Dan reached across the table for Phil's hand. He rubbed his thumb over the other boy's hand in a soothing way.

"What's wrong?" he whispered. Phil's hand twitched in his own as if he wanted to pull away but decided not to.

"Those guys... They're on the Northglenn football team. And since I'm also on that team and you go to Westbrooke... We can't be seen together." He hung his head and failed to look Dan in the eye. Dan let go of Phil's hand suddenly.

"Does that mean we can't be together?" Dan whimpered. He could already feel his heart shattering. Tears welled up in his eyes.

"No, no we can!" Phil rushed in before Dan could start crying. Phil reached across the table and grabbed Dan's face in his hands. He pulled him towards him and closed the space between them. Their lips met. Dan's eyes widened with shock. His heart was pounding in his ears. Phil's lips were soft on his. Phil's hands moved to the back of his neck as the kiss grew.

Dan's hand moved to grab Phil's hair and accidentally knocked over the menu and a cup in the process. The cup shattered and it was a that moment the other group decided to look over at the two of them lip locked.


	10. Chapter 10

"Hey fags get a room!" Yelled what seemed to be the leader of the group. They walked over to Dan and Phil who had broken apart since his exclaim. One of the other boy's eyes widened upon seeing Phil.

"Lester?" He questioned. "Is that you?"Dan slumped in his chair to avoid this interaction.

"I..." Phil began but by then they had already started with Dan. He sank smaller and smaller with every word they said.

"You think it's funny turning Lester into one of you fag?" Dan stared at the ground, not saying anything. He'd dealt with worse and he wasn't going to respond and give them the satisfaction of his reaction.

"Fuck off." Phil spat at the group. "Leave him alone." One of the boys turned and slapped him across the face. His hand left red marks.

"You'll regret that Lester." He growled. "I'll make your life a living hell."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I've said before, I hate using the word f*g, but I don't want to sugar coat anything and people who act the way the football players do in this chapter act use that word a lot


	11. Chapter 11

"Fag" "kys" "Go die" "worthless" These were all things that covered Phil's locker the next day. Words written in large letters that shone like a black hole and cut like a knife. Words written as an acts against him. Just because he wanted to love.

People in the hall gave him death stares as he walked passed. Word had spread like wildfire and it seemed that they were more than about him being gay. People whispered that he'd "punched one of the players in the face and even threatened to pull a knife on them" or that he'd "Hit on one of the players." These were all rumors that had been amped with each telling. But Phil ignored the stares and held his head high, despite the fact that he wanted to run as far away as he could from that place.

He walked to the bathroom with a smile plastered on his face. When he was out of sight, he snapped. He locked himself in a stall and curled into a ball. He'd been trying so hard to be liked at school. He was already ridiculed by his family for liking boys. When he had come out to them, his parents had threatened to disown him. His brother was the only one who had supported him, but he was away at college. And since no one at school had known, school had been a safe place for him. Now he had nowhere.

Then, the tears came. They rolled silently down his face. They left his eyes red and his nose stuffed. They made him feel a little better afterwards, but only a little.

He took a few minutes to collect himself in the bathroom mirror. He splashed his face in the sink and made his way to class, keeping a smile plastered on his face all the while.


	12. Chapter 12

They met in secret behind the bleachers of Westbrooke as often as they could. Each time, they would make out as if they would die if they ever broke apart. This time was no exception. Phil had Dan pinned up against the back of the bleachers and was kissing him like there was no tomorrow. Both of their eyes were closed. Dan's arms had been thrown around Phil's neck in an attempt to pull him closer.

As they kissed, footsteps were heard as someone approached them. She stopped in her tracks once she reached them.

"Oh!" She exclaimed. Phil stopped kissing Dan and turned to her. She had bright blonde hair which was dyed pink at the ends and a bright smile. Her eyes were wide as she stared at the two of them.

"Louise, it's not what it looks like!" Dan cried. He pushed Phil off of him to prove a point. Louise went right in Phil face and stared him right in the eye.

"What exactly are you doing with Dan?" She asked. Phil took a step back. Louise was scary.

"Um... N-N-Nothing ma'am." He stuttered. Louise got in his face more. Phil trembled and tried to sink into himself like a child who had been caught by their parent doing something bad.

"What are your intentions with Dan?" She rephrased herself.

"I-I-I just want to make him happy ma'am." It felt weird calling someone his age ma'am, but he felt that this girl definitely held that kind of authority. Then, she did something he didn't expect. She pulled him into a bone crushing hug. Phil, who had been tackled by 200 pound linebacker, had the wind knocked out of him by this girl's hug.

Dan was almost crying at their hug. In his mind, he had been going over a conversation he had had a long while back with her.

 

"Louise, can I tell you something?" Dan sat fidgeting on his bed while Louise laid on the floor and flipped through a magazine she had brought with her.

"What?" Louise replied, not taking her eyes off of the magazine. Dan reached down and plucked it out of her hands. "Hey!"

"Louise this is important. Can you keep a secret?" Dan played with the hem of his shirt. Louise stood up and sat on the bed next to him. She grabbed his hand to stop him from fidgeting.

"Of course I can." She laughed. "What's so important?" Dan took a deep breath.

"I... I mean... I" he began stuttering. He couldn't get the words out. He wanted to just say "I like boys." but the words kept getting stuck in his throat.

"What are you trying to say?" Louise asked tentatively. Dan let out a sigh.

"I like..." he began again. "I like boys! Okay! I'm gay I like guys!" He finally shouted, gesticulating wildly. He breathed a sign of relief. It felt good to finally tell someone.

Louise leaned over and hugged him tightly. "Dan, I never realized..." she started but Dan interrupted her.

"I hope you don't see me any differently or treat me differently now that you know." He said quietly.

"I'll always see you as you Dan. And I'm supporting you 100%. If you ever get a boyfriend, I'll support him too. Nothing will ever change between us. You'll always be my best friend."

 

Dan was jolted back into reality when Louise grabbed him and pulled him into the hug. Louise wiped the tears off of Dan's face and said "Did you really think I would go back on my promise?"


	13. Chapter 13

Phil: Are you home?

Dan: Yeah, but my parent left to go on some business trip.

Phil: So you're home alone?

Dan: yep

Phil: okay. See you in a bit. 

Dan was sitting on his bed when he heard a shout from outside his window. He opened it and looked down to see Phil standing in his front yard.

"What light from yonder window breaks?" Phil yells to Dan theatrically. Dan laughs.

"You're such a dork." he says, running downstairs and unlocking the front door. Phil greets him by slamming his lips onto Dan's. Before Dan throws his arms around Phil, he slams the door shut. They break apart for a moment and during that time, a breathless Dan says "let's go upstairs."


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the smut for y'all

Phil pushes Dan onto his bed and he spreads his legs to make room for Phil. Phil lays in-between them and bites Dan's lip. Dan moans as Phil moves to his neck and gives him soft kisses. He continues to move downward, leaving a trail down Dan's chest. Dan lets out another soft moan.

Phil reaches Dan belt and begins to unzip his jeans. Dan pulls his shirt over his head while Phil removes his pants. Phil takes off his own shirt and his pants fall onto the floor. Again, Phil makes a trail from Dan's neck to his hips, sucking a little bit as he goes. Dan moans louder.

When he reaches Dan's dick, he pulls down his underwear and Dan's huge dick erects itself to its full height. Phil grabs it with his hand and moves it up and down. Dan lets out an even louder moan. He can feel himself about to come.

When Phil finishes, he kisses Dan's hips again and makes his way back up to Dan's mouth. He sticks his tongue between Dan's lips and moans. Dan's hands trail down Phil's stomach and into his underwear. A moan escapes Phil's lips as he moves his other hand down his butt, taking his underwear with it.

Dan grabs Phil and pulls him closer to his body. He grabs a fistful of his hair and pulls his mouth onto his. Dan stays still for a moment, taking time to feel the heat of their bodies pressed against each other. Phil presses himself harder into Dan. He runs his fingers through Dan's hair.

Phil breaks apart from Dan's lips and whispers in his ear. "Turn over."

Dan does as he's told. Phil gets up and walks around the room. Dan knows what he's looking for.

"In the bathroom." He says, a bit muffled with his face pressed into the pillows. "It's the cabinet above the sink." Phil returns with a tube of lubricant.

Carefully, Phil thrusts his lubed index finger about an inch in. Dan whimpers in anticipation before Phil gradually slides his finger all the way in.

"Do you stretch baby?" Phil asks huskily against Dan's ear. Dan moans and shakes his head. Phil, realizing this is probably Dan's first time becomes more gentle as he slowly thrusts another finger in. After letting dan get used to the two fingers in him Phil starts to scissor him. Dan moans loudly.

Phil decides he's done with scissoring when Dan begs for his cock. So Phil pushes the third finger in.

"Shh baby, you need to be properly stretched" Phil coos and rubs dan's back soothingly. As Phil thrusts his fingers in again Dan pushes back, pleading for phil to fuck him already. Phil complies, quickly sliding the condom on and lubing his dick, groaning at the friction. "Okay honey, you ready?" Phil checks before he pushes his tip into Dan's waiting hole.

"Yes" Dan moans incoherently and nods frantically. At first phil pushes just his tip in and dan moans even louder than before. "Just push the fucking dick in me Phil. I'm not fucking fragile!" Dan exclaims when he's evened his breath.

"That is not a nice way to talk to someone who's about to push their dick in you, Danny." Phil tuts and then pushes all the way in. Dan screams with pleasure caused by a cock finally filling his hole properly and hearing Phil's husky and sexy voice calling him Danny. "You okay?" Phil asks when Dan has breathed in and out a few times.

Dan nods. "Yes, yes I'm fine. Just fucking move already."

Phil tuts again. "What did I just say Danny..." He mutters more as a statement than a question. Suddenly Phil starts moving slowly to get Dan used to the feeling.

"Harder!" He yells. Phil grips Dan's hips harder, almost hard enough to bruise and Dan has to bite his lip to not gasp or moan at the sensation.

"Are you sure you're ready for that?" Phil asks authority in his voice. Dan just nods and whimpers. After what seems like an eternity for Dan, Phil finally speeds up a bit. The tiniest bit in all of the universe but Dan moans whorishly at the friction in his hole. Phil also starts switching his angle to find Dan's prostate which he's glad to discover through a loud moan of Phil's name which escapes Dan's lips. 

By now Dan is muttering pleas that don't make any sense at all and that's when Phil loses it and started snapping his hips roughly in Dan's hole. Due to the sudden, overwhelming pleasure Dan goes quiet for a second after he cries Phil's name and cums. Phil grunts feeling Dan's hole clenching as he comes down from his high. When Dan's orgasm is done Phil roughly pulls out of him and cums in the condom.

Dan collapses onto the bed breathless. Phil flops into bed next to him, panting. The two of them lie on their backs in silence. Dan turns to Phil and plants a kiss on his cheek. Phil touches the spot his kissed, staring at the ceiling. Then he scoots over to Dan and puts his head on his chest. Dan brushes a stray hair away from Phil's face. Phil sits quiet for a moment, listening to Dan's heartbeat.

Suddenly, Phil picks his head up and grabs Dan hand, placing it over his own heart. "Do you feel that?" He asks.

Dan looks at him confused. "Of course, it's your heartbeat, what else would it be?"

"Do you know why it's beating?"

"Well because the heart needs to send blood through the-" Dan starts but Phil cuts him off.

"No Dan, it's beating because of you. You're the reason my heart is still beating."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my friend Anna for helping me write this chapter


	15. Chapter 15

Dan wakes up to the sound of Phil's snoring. He has his body wrapped around Dan. Phil hugs Dan's chest tightly as he sleeps. Dan presses his back into Phil in an attempt to wake him up. Phil lets out another loud snore.

"Phil?" Dan whispers. Phil stirs and pulls Dan even tighter. It takes a minute for Phil to really wake up. He kisses Dan's neck and Dan softly smiles.

"I wish I could stay here with you all day, but we have to get up and go to school. It's like 7:00." Dan tries leave, but Phil pulls him back into the bed.

"5 more minutes" he begs and buries his face into Dan. Dan sighs and lets Phil have time to spoon. At 7:05, Phil lets Dan get up and start getting dressed. He props his head up with his elbow and watches as Dan pulls on a clean shirt. Before he pulls it fully on, he freezes.

"Phil?" He asks and turns to him. Phil sits up on the side of the bed. "What did you mean last night by 'still beating'" Phil instantly starts to panic. He didn't want Dan to know. It had been a spur of the moment thing to tell him that.

"I-I..." he stuttered. Dan sat down next to him. He grabbed his hands. Phil calmed down a little bit.

"Is there something you'd like to tell me?" Dan asked, rubbing his thumb over Phil's fingers to comfort him. Phil pulls away.

"I didn't want to have to bother you with it." Phil said, slouching and not looking Dan in the eye. Dan put his hand on Phil's shoulder.

"You can tell me anything. What is it?" Phil turns away.

"It was the day before we met. My family... we'd been having some... disagreements. It wasn't the first time. I'd been having these... thoughts... for a long time. Bad thoughts, Dan. I assumed they came from my last school. The kids there weren't exactly the nicest to me. But then I realized they came from home as well. I thought there was no place I was free of those thoughts. And even though at Northglenn, I was free of those thoughts, other bad thoughts filled my mind at school. They were about how I was lying to everyone and being someone I'm not.

"So anyways, I'd been trying to keep them at bay when something in my mind went 'why not do it. Why not just kill yourself and get it over with.' I wanted to say no to it, but it was like someone screaming at me." Phil started to tear up.

"The day I met you..." he said through tears. "that was my suicide date." Dan threw his arms around Phil.

"I'm so sorry Phil. If I had known I-"

"Don't say anything. Just please be here for me." He cried. Dan grabbed Phil's shoulders and forced him to look him in the eye.

"I promise I'll always be here for you." He wiped a tear off of Phil's face. Phil took a deep breath to try to calm himself. Dan pulled him into a tight embrace.

After his tears had dried, Phil got up and get dressed. He walked over to Dan standing near the doorway and grabs his face in his hands. He stares into his brown eyes, swirling with flecks of gold from the sunlight coming in through the window. Dan matches Phil's gaze, allowing himself to be lost at sea.

Phil grabs the back of Dan's head and draws his face closer. Their foreheads touch. Phil's hand moves to Dan's back as he pulls his body close too.

"I'm in love with you Dan." He whispers and presses his lips onto Dan's. Dan melts into him like wax from a candle.

When he finally breaks away, Dan responds "I'm in love with you too."


	16. Chapter 16

"All students please meet in the gym for an emergency meeting." A voice echoed over the loudspeaker. Phil was herded through the halls between a sea of people. All of them flooded into the gym and took seats on the bleachers. Phil sat near the back. No one wanted to join him.

"Settle down, settle down." The principal spoke from the podium that had been set up, trying to quiet down the talkative teens. "Nothing is wrong, there is no cause for alarm. I simply called you here for a very important last minute announcement." She cleared her throat.

"As many of you know, things between us and Westbrooke have been somewhat... rocky the past years. That being said, Principal Jonathan is trying to make a peace between our schools by hosting a dance this Friday night. I expect you to all be on your best behavior." Murmurs followed. Principal Susan tried once more to quiet down the students.

"Are there any questions?" She asked. A boy in the front raised his hand. Without waiting for her to respond he spoke.

"Yeah, do we have to go?" He snickered. His friends laughed. A smile spread across Susan's face.

"You don't have to go. Unless you would like to not be able to go to any other school or inter-school events this year." This was followed by yelling from many students. Susan ignored it.

"If there are no further questions, then all of you, get to class!" Everyone scrambled to get out of their seats. As much as Northglenn students hated class, they hated being trapped in meeting even more. As people moved in front of him, Phil barely seemed to notice. His thoughts were focused on going to the dance with Dan.


	17. Chapter 17

Dan: We can't go together

Phil: But we can go together, right? Like not drive there together but like we can hang out there and stuff?

Dan: As long as nobody sees us

Phil: Okay <3

Phil walked up to the entrance of Westbrooke with his hands in his pockets. He felt intimidated even by the building. But, if it was Dan's school, how scary could it be?

In the front entrance sat 2 girls at a table. They had two boxes in front of them. Phil approached the table and one of the girls greeted him in a very perky way.

"Hi!" She boomed. She must be a cheerleader Phil thought. "Welcome to Westbrooke! You must be from Northglenn!" She opened one of the boxes and pulled out a blue pin. She handed it to Phil.

"Um... thanks. What's this for?" He asked, fiddling with the small object.

"I'm so glad you asked! Principal Jonathan had the idea that everyone would wear a pin of their school's color so people could see who goes where and make friends!" Phil reluctantly placed the pin on his t-shirt. That sounded like a bad idea to him.

"The gym is right down the hall, make a left and then it's the two double doors at the end of the hallway. Have fun." She waved at Phil as he started walking down the hallway. Once she though he was out of hearing range, she turned to her friend.

"I cant believe we have to be the fucking welcoming committee for these losers."

"You're the one who got caught smoking in the bathroom. It's your punishment and your own damn fault." Her friend replied.

"Well at least I didn't cheat on a test cause I don't have have a pea for a brain!" The two girls continued bickering and Phil walked faster to the gym.

The gym was lit up by thousands of fairy lights. They covered all of the walls. They looped around tables. It was beautiful. What wasn't beautiful, was the tension in the room that you could cut like a knife. People with blue pins on one side of the room. People with red on the other. The dj trying to get people to dance instead of angrily glare at each other.

Among the red pinned crowd, he spotted Dan. He was trying to search the faces of the Northglenn students, looking for Phil. He couldn't find him.

In a final attempt to break the ice, the dj began to play line dances. A few people made their way to the middle and began dancing. There was still a clear divide, but at least people were dancing.

Phil watched as Dan slumped into a chair. He leaned his head on his hand and sighed. He looked like someone who had been stood up. He was constantly glancing at his phone, waiting for Phil to text him.

Phil: Meet me outside the gym.


	18. Chapter 18

Dan walked out of the gym and looked around the dimly lit hallways. There was no sign of Phil. Disappointed, he started to make his way back to the gym when his phone buzzed.

Phil: I'm down the hall to your right.

Dan jogged down the hall to Phil. He threw himself into Phil's arms when he saw him.

"Philly!" He yelled, laughing with the biggest smile on his face. Phil put his finger on Dan's lips.

"Shhhhhh. We can't be too loud." He whispered. They could still hear the music from the gym.

"Dance with me!" Dan laughed. They danced to the dumb line dances the dj was playing, giggling all the while.

After what felt like hours of dancing together, they heard the dj speaking.

"We're gonna slow it down a bit, so grab that special person cause it's time for a slow dance."  
They heard piano start to play.

"May I have this dance?" Phil asked, extending his hand for Dan to take. Phil intertwined his fingers with Dan's. Dan placed his hand on Phil shoulder and Phil grabbed Dan's back, pulling him close. There were no chaperones, so they could be as close as they wanted.

"Heart beats fast, colors and promises" they heard Christina Perri's recorded voice sing as they waltzed in their own little corner of heaven. The words reigned true, as both of their hearts beat fast from pure joy. Time seemed to stand still as they danced, feeling like they were the only people in the entire world.

As the song reached its end, Phil spun Dan, then dipped him. Dan's smile could not have been bigger. Phil sang along to the last lines of the song, gazing into Dan's eyes, nothing but pure joy in his heart.

"I'll love you for a thousand more" the last notes of the song echoed and Phil turned his head and leaned in to kiss Dan. Dan closed his eyes. Their lips were millimeters apart when they heard the squeaking of sneakers on floor tiles coming towards them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want know the song, it's A Thousand Years by Christina Perri


	19. Chapter 19

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Chuckled the leader of the group of three. Dan and Phil had broken apart and were cowering in fear at them. Phil spoke to the boy, who happened to be wearing a blue pin.

"Leave us alone, Felix, this has nothing to do with you." He stood protectively in front of Dan. Dan could tell that he was scared out of his wits and he grabbed Phil's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

Felix laughed. "You think you're tough, do you? Ha, don't make me laugh Lester. I've seen you during practice. You've lost your edge." The two goons behind him laughed.

Phil took a step forwards. "Leave. Us. Alone." He said through clenched teeth. Felix's eyes drifted down to the red pin on Dan's chest.

"Have it your way then." A malicious grin spread across his face. "Chris, PJ, grab him." The two goons seized Phil by his arms as he struggled to escape. Dan tried to run, but Felix grabbed his arm.

"Leaving so soon?" He asked before slamming Dan into a nearby locker. Dan collapsed onto the floor in pain. Phil screamed.

"Leave him alone!" He shrieked, writhing in Chris and PJ's grasps. PJ pressed his hand over Phil's mouth to muffle his screams. Felix lifted Dan up by his shirt and punched his nose with all of his strength. There was a cracking noise. He had broken Dan's nose. Phil still struggled against their grasps.

Felix grabbed Dan's head and, with full force, rammed it into a stone wall behind him. Dan collapsed to the ground, unconscious. Phil let out a muffled scream. Felix began kicking Dan in the ribs. After several minutes, he stopped.

Felix laughed again. "Let's go." Chris and PJ dropped Phil and ran off laughing with Felix. Phil ran to Dan to see if he was alright.


	20. Chapter 20

"Dan, please wake up." Phil begged, shaking Dan's unconscious form. There was a lot of blood, mostly coming from his head. He grabbed his wrist. There was still a pulse. He was alive. "Help!" Phil screamed. "Please, anyone!" But no one came. They couldn't hear him over the music.

He pulled out his phone and called for an ambulance. They arrived 10 minutes later.

"What happened?" One of the EMTs asked as the other two checked for a pulse and breathing.

"He was attacked. I don't know what happened. I just know that the guy bashed his head against the wall and started kicking him, so he may have broken ribs or something too." Phil replied. He felt useless as they searched for Dan's faint heartbeat.

Once they found it, one of them placed a cervical collar on him. By then, a small crowd had formed around them. They placed a resuscitation bag over his mouth and nose and carefully lifted him onto a stretcher. The crowd parted for the EMTs carrying Dan. Phil followed them.

They loaded Dan onto the ambulance waiting outside. Phil climbed in after them. Before the back door to the ambulance closed, Louise ran up to it.

"I'm coming with you." She proclaimed. "I'm his friend too." She began to climb onto the ambulance, but Phil stopped her.

"No." Phil commanded. "You're staying here to find his attackers. Keep an eye out for three Northglenn football players, Chris Kendall, PJ Liguori, and Felix Kjellberg." Louise nodded and ran back into the building.

A paramedic slammed the back doors shut. Phil grabbed Dan's hand and held onto it the whole ride to the hospital.

"It's gonna be okay, you're gonna be okay. Please be okay." He kept mumbling to Dan the whole ride to the hospital.


	21. Chapter 21

"We have a fractured skull, several broken ribs, a broken nose and what we believe to be internal bleeding." A nurse yelled as a group of people rushed Dan on a gurney through the clinical-smelling hallways of the hospital. Phil ran to keep up. They wheeled Dan into a room. Phil tried to follow, but a woman in scrubs stopped him.

"No admittance." She said. Phil stood on his toes to attempt to see what was happening in the room, his eyes filled with fear and worry. The woman grabbed his shoulder. "He'll be fine." She said before she turned and went back into the room, slamming the door shut behind her.

Phil hung his head and walked down the hallways and back to the waiting room. He sat for what felt like hours, a constant fear eating away inside him. What if he isn't okay. His thoughts told him. He'd have no one. There was no one else in his life. His parents didn't care. His brother was at college and wasn't coming back during any breaks or after he was finished because he needed time to record with a new band he'd found. He'd lost all of his friends. The only person still in his life that showed him unconditional love was Dan Howell.

He took a couple of deep breaths. He'll be fine. He'll be fine. He'll be fine. He kept saying to himself. He anxiously awaited any update on Dan's situation. Whenever anyone who looked like staff came down the hallway, he sat bolt upright, waiting for them to say something, anything, about Dan. Minutes seemed to go by like years. A full hour went by with no updates.

A man in a white coat walked towards him. Phil sat up, expecting something about Dan. The man walked past him and spoke with a woman, who's face lit up at his words that she was cancer free. Another doctor bounced joyfully into the room. Again, she headed to another person. The man's sister had just given birth to twins.

A woman with a clipboard walked towards him. He didn't bother to look up. The woman stood right in front of him and coughed to get his attention. Phil looked up at her.

"Are you the one who came in with the brown haired boy?" She asked. Fear flooded Phil's system. Was he okay?! He wanted to yell.

"Yes." He gulped.

"Come with me." The woman turned and walked down the hallway. Phil followed.


	22. Chapter 22

Dan looked smaller than ever. He was lying in a white hospital bed, connected to all sorts of tubes and wires. His eyes were closed. The woman gestured for Phil to come into the room.

"We're sorry. We tried everything we could, but there was too much internal bleeding. Whoever hit him, they caused serious damage." She hung her head. "There's nothing we can do now. He only has a few minutes. Do what you need to do to say goodbye. He might still be able to hear you." The nurse left them alone.

Phil dropped to his knees next to Dan's bedside in shock. His shock was soon replaced by sadness and anger. He was mad at Felix for doing this to Dan. He was distraught because he'd lost his best friend, his boyfriend, his soulmate. Phil grabbed Dan's hand and gave it a squeeze.

"I love you." He sobbed. Dan's faint rate increased a little. He could definitely still hear him. He could hear him saying goodbye.

He wanted to say goodbye by singing to him, like you would sing a child a lullaby to go to sleep. It was just the same, but in this case, the sleep was forever.

"Always, I want to be with you." He sang through tears. "And make believe with you." He croaked. He laid his head on Dan's chest, soaking him with tears. After a moment, he head a beeping noise. Dan was dead.


	23. Chapter 23

Phil looked up at the monitor. This wasn't happening. This is a dream. He told himself. I'll wake up in a minute and everything will be alright. He grabbed a part of his arm and pinched it as hard as he could. He could still feel. This wasn't a dream. This was real life.

He kept looking at the monitor, waiting for the line to show even the tiniest sign of life. It stayed unmoving. And Phil snapped. All of those horrible, terrible awful thoughts came flooding back like a dam had been broken in his mind.

"Why do you just do it?"  
"Kill yourself and get it over with"  
"There's no one who loves you"  
"You don't deserve to live"

They screamed at him. He would do anything to keep these thoughts out of his head. Anything. 

He scanned the room for something that he could use. His eyes fell upon a small white bottle with a blue label resting on a table. He walked over to it and snatched it. "Ibuprofen" it read. He unscrewed the cap and popped one of the large pills. Then another and another. He had taken the whole bottle before he even realized he was still crying.

He wiped away his tears and trudged to Dan's bedside. He could already feel their affects as he laid down next to Dan in the small hospital bed. He took his hand and kissed him one last time.

"I love you." He whispered. Everything went dark.


	24. End

A tale of two lovers  
They meet, fall fast and fall hard  
Only to be ripped apart by their circumstances.  
One dies, the other kills themself   
Sound familiar?   
You've probably heard it before  
Through Shakespeare's words  
Of Romeo and Juliet.


End file.
